As a divorced dog mom of a 4-year-old labradoodle, living in an apartment on the outskirts of Portland, Oregon, my life is probably the most ordinary one can imagine, yet to me, it feels a little abnormal, simply because for years I felt very stuck.

For over a decade, my life was consumed with stressors of an abusive marriage, running a small business for an explosive boss, or trying to create a business and income for myself. As I’ve healed and settled back into a more peaceful life, my days are full of work at my two jobs (an office job at a family law firm and a serving job at a wine and whiskey bar), walking the dog, cooking, making new friends, listening to audiobooks and podcasts, and contemplating just what the heck happened for the last fifteen years.

In this blog, I’ll try to make sense of what happened in my marriage, expand upon what I’ve learned about abuse and control, and hope to provide explanations and resources that are helpful to women who may be going through something similar, or may know someone who is.

On the fluffier side, I’ll also focus on one of the loves of my life, product buying and merchandising. As a fashion and gift industry expert for over a decade, I learned a lot about buying, starting and running a boutique, and the behind-the-scenes in my brain: my ever-changing mental state that was both a strength and weakness in my business at different times.